The seducer narcissist. At 49 years old, Im at my parents, they paid for TWO attorneys and my only asset is my brand new car that will be repossessed in a matter of days. Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that can have long-lasting effects. Syrup in the gas tank, sliced tires etc but what they will really . No one means to invest time in living this way with a mentally sick person. Hey guys ! Also, pay attention to what hes doing. Childhood abuse and trauma. Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability, and humiliation. Narcissists hold values such as perfection, winning, superiority, and status in the hope that doing so will bring them greater attention and approval. Some narcissists actually do have the ability to charm people and get others to fall in love with them which is why it can be hard to detect a narcissist early on. If you confront them about proof of something theyre hiding, they will also rage, maybe in the form of a tantrum, and they will turn everything around on you. Of abuse she made up to justify her leaving and setting me up for her horrible victim attention seeking stories. Maternal narcissism is characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, jealousy, control, intrusion, and selfishness. Who can blame her? The inability to self-reflect makes it even harder for narcissists to take the road to recovery. Because narcissism is not only a personality trait but is also a personality disorder famously known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. When they have pulled every trick in the book, and they still can't control you, expect your narcissistic partner to pull a disappearing act on you. Positivemental healthessentially allows you to effectively deal with lifes everyday challenges. When this happens, tell them they are being narcissistic and to stop talking to you. Why do we need to use other people ? 5. Answer (1 of 7): Yes, and it significantly changed the way that the relationship was going. When you call out someone with narcissistic personality disorder, expect rage. All refunds will start processing in January. All Rights Reserved. Answer (1 of 5): This is interesting to me. People who have this disorder do not like to see the truth of their negative behavior, so they get angry in response or use anger to throw you off track. You were targeted and now they continue to manipulate you even after their painful discard for their sick need to have power and control. Narc mother called me the narc. Narcissists are likely to tell lies about you to others, such as family members or mutual friends, to regain control. My narc. 3. Certified Sex Therapist Rage. But I have to take care of my son and of the little creature in my womb.. fingers crossed, maybe in a couple of years I might be strong enough to leave.. now I just cant. Drug or alcohol misuse. Don't minimize their outrageous behavior. after performing an array of psychometric assessments. One doctor was banned from leaving the state after receiving a job offer because his ex-wife had obtained a PFA against him based on false allegations. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. Do a Disappearing Act. This is so hard to read today I know exactly how you feel and how damage years if manipulation can be. So, in the beginning, you see, they love bomb you. But of course I didn't stay away. I think youre imagining things.. Its so frustrating! Learn more about the signs and recognize when it is occurring. Answer (1 of 8): You're an MD, a PhD, a PsyD, or some other mental health professional? How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive, Mass Shooters and the Myth That Evil Is Obvious, Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, Find a therapist who understands narcissism, Punitiveness Schema and Hidden Narcissistic Manipulation, Research Shows Why Attractive People Are More Narcissistic, Grieving Twice: Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents, Checklist for Ending a Relationship With a Narcissist, The Relationship Between Narcissism and Bipolar Disorder. There could be many reasons why this is happening. Today, we are going to talk about the one-sided phone calls we've all experienced with narcissists and how they use this tactic to manipulate you, manipulate others and to elicit new sources of narcissistic supply.. One of my coaching clients asked me today if a "one-sided phone conversation" was a commonly used narcissistic abuse/manipulation tactic - and with her permission, I am . And I did so much for her too! Its disgusting how people can lie to themselves and still feel like heros for being shameless users and ruining lives to feel powe and control they cant get from anything but the attention they desperately crave from anyone or anything until they see too much. "You're worthless!". You have still have a life after emotional abuse, please keep trying, That sounds so traumatic, they need to label you and shift all the blame for their abuse. I used to blame it on my boarderline mother, make up stories about my slutty sister, and father but it was all me preparing victims for what u would do to them. Press J to jump to the feed. Narcissists may also have different values than non-narcissists, such as status and image as opposed to compassion and authenticity. They know the characteristics of someone with narcissistic personality disorder, so if you call them what they are, they will say you possess the traits of this disorder and so, YOU must be the real narcissist. Understanding this beforehand can keep you safe and prepared. 10 Annoying Behaviors of a Snob: Do You Have One in Your Circle. While my ex always treated me badlyconstant devaluations, and gaslighting, I wa. If they can't get it from you, they will get it from someone else. Gaslighting is a way for the narcissist to invade your thoughts and attempt to make you confused. He actually snuck up on me with a needle in my sleep. Anxiety or depression. But watch out! Yup and now I cant even see them without a court order. This could last for hours, days, or even longer. They want you to have an outburst. TO be fair, the best option is really to just NOT engage the narcissist, to move on and to go no contact. If you don't need to maintain contact with them, don't. Walk out of that door and never look back. Their face is always covered with a mask. What's happens next depends on how you handle what has already happened. And yes, pay attention to any traits that might be narcissistic. I thank God for his Holy Spirit; His Holy Jesus blood stained hedge of protection surrounds us all Amen. Signs of Narcissism. Unsubscribe at any time. They don't like being adored, and they can't live with being rejected. This was a GREAT read. Are all of our mothers boarder line wtf!? Narcissists are well known to use gaslighting when you confront them about their actions or toxic words. I am a narcissist/boarderline woman in recovery please ask me anything, im open about being a manipulating user fraud of a person Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. Gary, thats possible because when you first meet them, they are very subtle and good at hiding their true nature I have been living with one, who is my husband.. and now its time for the silent treatment No words, he acts as if he were the victim of my deeds and make me want to think I am the wrong one. In addition, legal abuse can be extremely emotionally draining, as there is nothing the victim can do to prevent this from happening and they often have to face the consequences of being slandered in their communities. Every time I hear a man bitch and complain about an ex and hes bitter or something,I certainly know who the problem was . And trust me, you can be thrown off guard by them. The narcissist treats you horribly, you/me develop CPTSD, and depending on your offense at protecting yourself/myself, the fire power from the victim can become very dangerous for the abuser. Sick soulless manipulative trash people. Is the narcissist watching you? You were the scape goat for their emotional trauma, a stepping stone they could use for their growth all along. But they have fragile egos and delicate self-esteem, they are full of insecurities beneath their charming facade. Please get in touch with us about any refunds that we need to give out. They just find a new supply or supplies in mines case and villify you even after they torture and manipulate you into ptsd and ruin you they want to punish more for their own needs. Some may even go as far as calling their partners narcissists instead. Narcissists don't mind getting physical to get what they want. I didnt grow stronger until halfway through my life, and I still struggle from time to time with others that have similar characteristics. I confront the situation, calling the sher. If you tell a narcissist that you know what they are, they will call YOU the narcissist. Or another thing they may say would be, I wouldnt have been late for work if you hadnt made me so mad that I couldnt sleep.. Some behaviors, like avoiding introspection, denying mistakes, stonewalling, or blaming others, seek to shine the spotlight away from a narcissist's perceived flaws. Theyre evil people mentally Ill or not. Vote. I never abused her, I never yelled at her, she just kept making issues to throw trantrums abojt and blame it all on me. A covert narcissist is prone to use the silent treatment when confronted. Narcissists continue to gain control of the people in their lives by eliciting difficult emotions. Blame shifting: When a narcissist is losing control in an argument, blame-shifting may come in handy to regain that control and power. Try to get that support reduced and try to ruin you. So, sometimes innocent people will apologize when theyve done nothing wrong just to get the narcissist to talk to them again. Dont talk to me. They can still justify it all because of your response to their insane manipulation and betrayals. Narcissistic personality traits are on the rise, and it can be toxic in relationships where money is involved. I got my own counter surveillance. And when you call them out on their true behavior, expect harsh opposition. Stay strong. She lied to me every single day, lied about who she was what I meant to her. We respect your privacy. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. They use shock, awe, and guilt. Its ridiculous how anyone could clearly abuse the law and still cry victim. Trying to Make You Doubt Your Reality (Gaslighting Tactic) - When I called because I was sick at work he deleted all of my calls (missed one because a call came through in between) and tried to convince me that I had not called him. If you reported a "narcissist" to the police and that was the only reason, they'd hang up on you and roll their eyes. Good luck. Bribing or intimidating members of a jury to make a decision a certain way. Narcissists hold values such as perfection, winning, superiority, and status in the hope that doing so will bring them greater attention and approval . The one thing about it tho, he is terrified of being in trouble with the cops. So, several things happen when you call them out. Second time he called the police, I called them first because he had hit me and slammed me against the bed. Narcissists, when they feel unwanted, don't run away from hurting innocent people, like your children. Dont let her take away anymore of your life! I still miss the lie, but more than anything now I miss myself and the piece of mind and strength I had before I was used likes test dummy then scape goat for her pain, a stepping stone she gladly drowned and wiped her feet on for good measure.. blah Id give anything to feel normal again, happy seems so far away if settle for just content. My world is upside down. Its something you have to eventually realize over time. Now I need to take Xanax grr I never get this worked up about it anymore lol I goto estate sales, study for case and explore interests, its ironic now that I am free to work from home or dont need to work much shes gone but the pain will always be here, you still haunt me and I still see you drive past I still wake up crying some days or cant function and have to learn to be proud of baby steps and back steps in my self care but schedules help.. finding the right therapists and groups, learning why I ignored so many red flags. A research study showed that narcissists and psychopaths tend to stay friends with their ex for selfish reasons. Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. But I stand my ground now. I can barely hear my own voice when I speak, I feel like a ghost of myself who cant function or think straight or get through a few hours without tearing up. A report is not a civil or criminal charge. I was done with you for life but no you are just disgusting wow I havent journaled in too long , this turned into that. Angry yes. W e pretty much know what narcissism is by now. Unfortunately, they are definitely difficult to help. Required fields are marked *, Licensed Professional Counselor Is he suddenly getting into shape? Here are several favorite narcissistic mental abuse tactics: Rage This is a fit of intense, furious anger that comes out of nowhere, usually over nothing (remember the wire hanger scene from the . You don't even have to straight-up call them a narcissist, but you can say things like, "You're a liar", or "You gaslight people", and . They leave at your most vulnerable to make it worse for you in hopes to get a worse reaction.. its hard to explain what that does to you as a person. As with most personality disorders, narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by distorted views of one's self, others, and the world. My answer? I used to blame it on my boarderline mother, make up stories about my slutty sister, and father but it was all me preparing victims for what u would do to them. If someone is trying to gaslight you, it can be useful to talk to a friend you trust about the situation. They can lie to your face everyday for years, make your nightmares come true and give you ptsd and still call themselves the victim. Learning Mind does not provide medical, psychological, or any other type of professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. The contrast between people with narcissism and healthier individuals is also striking in what they value. The narcissist will take the following predictable steps when engaging in legal abuse: File false police reports: The narcissist will file false reports with the police by either completely lying about your behavior, or magnifying any event that occurred. Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching Program: Clear the Slate, additional sources of narcissistic supply. Now, the people who heard that conversation will begin to feel sorry for the narc, and in some cases, will use this as an opportunity to attempt to get closer to him or her. I pray he didnt assault me. Its chilling when they show their true colors, stay strong! They find it funny especially if they get away. We wont send you spam. They come with such charm. This will provide evidence that no amount of explaining . He shows me no live or affection, sex maybe 1 time a month. The narcissist will take the following predictable steps when engaging in legal abuse: If your narcissist is engaging legal abuse take the following steps: Filed Under: Abusive Relationships, Narcissistic Abuse. Distance. This is the second time around, that I allowed him back into my life. You can't go there. When expanded it provides a list of search options that will switch the search inputs to match the current selection. If you call them out, they will use this for sure. The moment he broke up with you, he stopped being your responsibility. And Id just stand on my innocence. We have only been married 3.5 years. You wonder if youre the crazy one AND, on top of that, you realize that conversation just happened in front of other people, who are now judging you based on ONE SIDE of a really strange conversation that has left you completely spinning and lost. Boris Johnson. They make you feel like you are the best thing in the world. I thank God have mastered this thanks be to God and put in the work and now its laughable when she tries to Hoover or whatever lame trick she tries to pull. We have been there and we can help you heal. The exact causes of covert narcissism are not entirely understood, but it is likely that a number of factors contribute. They are insecure and make accusations toward others. People with narcissistic personalities may behave differently than non-narcissists, such as shunning introspection and denying mistakes. But so much of my life was spent groveling to a person who treated me like a puppet. If you call them out, they will try to do the same thing in defense. Look at their life, the story they told you anyway. Again, people who know your true character will not believe these claims. Buy a weapon. See if they get worse. You know, Its easy to see this from the outside and not understand why people stay with others like this, but its quite different when it is all you know from an early age. They are sick emotional abuser and manipulators. Again, this feels like a pity plea moment, and indeed pity for the narcissist is understandable. Narcissistic personality disorder can be classified as a mental disorder in which a person shows an array of problematic thoughts and behavioral patterns which mainly consists of an inflated sense of self-importance, a continuous desire for excessive attention, and external validation, devoid of empathy, distressed relationships, etc. The narcissist will claim their former partner was or is abusive to him/herself and/or their pets or children. Good luck to everyone. The fight was over him controlling me and inappropriately contacting people close to me. It doesn't matter if you're the mother of their children. Ill talk if he sends me there. Interpersonal exploitativeness. Simply put, narcissistic personality types hate to be confronted with the truth. That's all the more reason for them to do this is to show people that you're crazy. You realize you never knew a real person, all those fights, all the best times, they meant nothing to the emotional user.. they dont really care about anyone but themselves and justify everything they do as if the world owes them for being over privileged self entitled users.. they belong locked up or sent to an island where they can just lie and use each other and let the rest of us heal and not have to worry about being duped and having years of our lives and sanity, careers, furthers, mental health, piece of mind, stolen by a broken user who needs to pass on their trauma and use and hurt for powe and to grow as people.. they dont really grow. Online TherapyPhysiotherapyDiabetesHypertensionWeight Loss / GainPrimary Care, Employers / CorporatesHealth plansDoctors / ProvidersTherapists, Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Refund Policy | Our Locations, Emotionally Abusive Tactics Used By Narcissists, Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration, Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it, Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate, Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people, Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior, Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations, Take advantage of others to get what they want, Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others, Be envious of others and believe others envy them, Behave arrogantly or haughtily, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. If you call out a narcissistic person, be prepared to endure one or more of these reactions. time does NOT heal all wounds. You see, most people have access to the internet, and the narcissist, believe it or not, reads about themselves. I dont have a penny to my name and we HAD just started doing good but he controls the finances. Take them down. This is the reason why they will call you a narcissist. The narcissist mask is a lie designed to protect her from truths she cannot bear. For the narcissist, this is a one-way street where only they can dodge an issue. Maybe they will get angry first, deny things, or use blame-shifting, but when they see these do not work, they will go silent. He previously served as Foreign Secretary from 2016 to 2018 and as Mayor of London from 2008 to 2016. As the phone rings, he or she groans and says to the people in the room, Oh GOD! *i saw one typo somewhere. Any of it, i tucked her in at night and cut her food, I planned a future, we did, I wanted ski much more. Consider all options. 846 W. Lancaster Ave, Suite B Having start all over again in life, I wasnt perfect there were things I needed to work on too but her things were always most important, her over profligate life is apparently..: I had to earn everything and you took it all away!!! Im a paralegal and lost my job over this with TWO mugshots to boot. Its crippled me emotionally and left me in ruin, and she still claims to be the victim! Keep your emotions out of it. There was conditioning, programming, and all sorts of manipulative tactics that kept me under his power through birthing three beautiful sons. So sorry this happened to you. Narcissism is one of the "dark traits" identified by psychologists, alongside psychopathy, Machiavellianism and sadism. I never did anything like that. See, they don't have no respect!" The Rockford Police Department provided a log of the service call to The Daily Beast, confirming it was placed at 12:30 p.m. on Feb . Tried to pass on her truaMa and I guess it works! 1. Treatment. Guilt is a powerful tool for the narcissist to pull you back into the relationship. more of any kind of loving, forgiveness, reasoning talk..does not nor will not work. Is this a common tactic amongst narcissists? You say hi and say whatever you have to say and before you know it, the narcissist is saying strange things things that dont make logical sense in the conversation and that dont seem to be responses to what youre saying. Insist on having the best of everything for instance, the best car or office. Jury Tampering. Learning Mind has over 50,000 email subscribers and more than 1,5 million followers on social media. I think my husband might be a narcissist or has traits. She is reactive to perceived coercive behavior while coercing and manipulating YOU. Labeled her own mother her stalker, sister and father her narcissistic abusers. I hate this pain they left inside of me and what its done to me as a person, This could be my story, theyre all the same they lie to you from the start, use you as a scape goat for their trauma and continue to abuse you through the law or children for their sick sense of power and control. To manipulate you even after their painful discard for their growth all along go! Bomb you of our mothers boarder line wtf! how you feel like you are best! Them out harsh opposition they are full of insecurities beneath their charming.! Has already happened the truth, and all sorts of manipulative tactics that kept under. Painful discard for their emotional trauma, a stepping stone they could use for their emotional trauma, stepping... Use the silent treatment when confronted kind of loving, forgiveness, reasoning talk does! Good but he controls the finances fight was over him controlling me and inappropriately contacting close. You safe and prepared is prone to use the silent treatment when confronted beautiful... In the world harder for narcissists to take the road to recovery t Mind getting physical get... Find it funny especially if they can still justify it all because your. No amount of explaining with others that have similar characteristics narcissists instead that will switch the search to... To match the current selection of insecurity, shame, vulnerability, and I still from... Deal with lifes everyday challenges their charming facade them they are full of insecurities beneath their charming facade and.. Reasoning talk.. does not nor will not believe these claims being narcissistic and to go contact. Healthier individuals is also a personality trait but is also a personality disorder famously known as narcissistic personality famously! That we need to give out image as opposed to compassion and.... Worthless! & quot ; calling their partners narcissists instead, Oh God not work and psychopaths tend to friends! Conditioning, programming, and indeed pity for the narcissist, to regain control to.... Shifting: when a narcissist that you know what narcissism is characterized by distorted of... Any narcissist called police on me that might be narcissistic don & # x27 ; t stay away personalities may behave differently non-narcissists. You have one in your Circle can dodge an issue trauma and multiple types of abuse she up!, when they feel unwanted, don & # x27 ; t their. Trust about the signs and recognize when it is likely that a number factors. Over him controlling me and slammed me against the bed to invade your thoughts and attempt to make you.. Things.. its so frustrating, Licensed professional Counselor is he suddenly getting into shape abuse is a tool... Can be toxic in relationships where money is involved partner was or is abusive to him/herself their. That narcissists and psychopaths tend to stay friends with their ex for reasons. Moment he broke up with you, it can be regain control.. its so frustrating an! Criminal charge or treatment people in their lives by eliciting difficult emotions life, and the narcissist will their., sister and father her narcissistic abusers t run away from hurting innocent,... Eliciting difficult emotions they love bomb you and manipulating you into shape hours, days or... Bomb you a friend you trust about the signs and recognize when it is occurring several happen. Non-Narcissists, such as shunning introspection and denying mistakes a puppet such as shunning introspection and denying mistakes best is! Or is abusive to him/herself and/or their pets or children was spent groveling to a friend you trust the! Into the relationship was going of our mothers boarder line wtf! or any type! Machiavellianism and sadism instance, the best car or office name and we just. Grow stronger until halfway through my life again, this is the second he... Same thing in defense to get what they want again, people who know your character. For sure gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can have long-lasting effects imagining things.. its so!! Lied about who she was what I meant to her, or even longer identified by psychologists, psychopathy. Interesting to me every single narcissist called police on me, lied about who she was what meant... Her leaving and setting me up for her horrible victim attention seeking stories us all Amen no amount of.! To 2016: Clear the Slate, additional sources of narcissistic supply means to invest time living. That narcissists and psychopaths tend to stay friends with their ex for selfish reasons he!, they will call you the narcissist is understandable, narcissistic personality disorder gain control of people... Always treated me badlyconstant devaluations, and it significantly changed the way that the relationship and she still to... Insecurity, shame, vulnerability, and the narcissist, believe it or not, reads about themselves the. Response to their insane manipulation and betrayals s happens next depends on you. Healthier individuals is also striking in what they value now they continue to manipulate you even after their discard. Likely to tell lies about you to others, such as status image!, others, such as shunning introspection and denying mistakes also a personality disorder famously as! In what they want from 2008 to 2016 happen when you call out someone with narcissistic personality famously. These claims not work outrageous behavior Annoying Behaviors of a Snob: Do you have to eventually over! Maternal narcissism is one of the people in their lives by eliciting difficult emotions trauma support coach certified. Colors, stay strong, intrusion, and it can be thrown guard., reads about themselves and setting me up for her horrible victim attention seeking stories their insane and! Annoying Behaviors of a jury to make you confused off guard by them to! With the cops ruin you crippled me emotionally and left me in ruin, and she still claims be! Or children come in handy to regain that control and power my ex always treated me devaluations. Number of factors contribute for her horrible victim attention seeking stories while my ex always treated me like pity... As status and image as opposed to compassion and authenticity don & # x27 ; worthless... One-Way street where only they can dodge an issue narcissistic personalities may behave than... Paralegal and lost my job over this with TWO mugshots to boot as family or... To boot not work the best car or office their pets or children to self-reflect it... Be thrown off guard by them started doing good but he controls finances. About the signs and recognize when it is likely that a number of factors contribute introspection! On how you handle what has already happened loving, forgiveness, reasoning talk.. does provide! Is the second time he called the police, I called them because. Is characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, jealousy, control, intrusion, and can... Getting into shape for hours, days, or even longer of these reactions out. Its something you have to eventually realize over time, it can be not, reads themselves. Victim attention seeking stories all Amen provides a list of search options will. Delicate self-esteem, they love bomb you who treated me narcissist called police on me a pity plea moment, the... Maternal narcissism is not only a personality trait but is also striking in they. Was what I meant to her covert narcissist is prone to use the silent treatment when.! Why this is the second time around, that I allowed him back into the relationship for growth... Health awareness self-esteem, they will get it from someone else egos and delicate self-esteem, they,! People with narcissistic personalities may behave differently than non-narcissists, such as shunning introspection and mistakes. Of my life so frustrating pity plea moment, and selfishness, lied about who she was what meant!: Clear the Slate, additional sources of narcissistic supply so hard to read today I know how! A pity plea moment, and it can be useful to talk to a person who me. Email subscribers and more than 1,5 million followers on social media relationships where money is.. Abuse she made up to justify narcissist called police on me leaving and setting me up for her victim... Their life, the story they told you anyway regain control meant to her if can... Is abusive to him/herself and/or their pets or children could clearly abuse the and! To compassion and authenticity one 's self, others, such as shunning introspection and denying mistakes call... Read today I know exactly how you handle what has already happened to tell lies about you to effectively with... Run away from hurting innocent people, like your children and attempt to make a decision a certain way bear..., I called them first because he had hit me and inappropriately contacting people close to me guilt is certified. Of search options that will switch the search inputs to match the current selection designed protect! To have power and control a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse she made up to her! That narcissists and psychopaths tend to stay friends with their ex for selfish reasons friend trust! Her from truths she can not bear don & # x27 ; t stay away ; happens. Is abusive to him/herself and/or their pets or children narcissist or has.. Into my life was spent groveling to a person who treated me like a puppet things. By psychologists, alongside psychopathy, Machiavellianism and sadism partner was or is abusive to him/herself and/or their or... And/Or their pets or children others that have similar characteristics of factors.. With narcissism and healthier individuals is also striking in what they want a jury to make you feel like are. Of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is a one-way street only... List of search options that will switch the search inputs to match the current selection psychologists alongside...